One of the things I like about the Dalai Lama is his giggle. Especially when holding forth on topics of great significance, the guy has a hard time suppressing a seemingly ever-present impulse to break into self-deprecating laughter, kind of like: "Look at me standing here answering questions about things I don't know much about. But hey, we might as well have some fun together."

By all means, let's have a good laugh — starting with the Tibetan Buddhist leader's announcement that he remains a Marxist in spirit, while condemning capitalism as a system whose only goal is "how to make profit." Marxism has "the only economy system expressing concern of equal distribution (of wealth); that is moral ethics," the Dalia Lama told a news conference at the start of a four-day New York visit.

As for Marxist "moral ethics" in practice, His Holiness admits to a few reservations:

Marxism as applied by authoritarian governments, such as China's, is oppressive, because it lacks an independent judiciary, a free press and human rights for his fellow Buddhists in Chinese-governed Tibet.

What a drag! Utopia always sounds so good in theory, but then it all falls apart when they try to apply it. That's the Dalai Lama's premise: Marxism just needs better managers who know how to implement the really swell ideas. Precisely what American liberal intellectuals believed about the USSR from the moment the Bolsheviks set up shop: Lenin meant well, Stalin started with good intentions. It's just so annoying when a political philosophy that's able to achieve its goals only by naked force, invariably ends up using naked force to achieve its goals. (Doncha just hate it when gulags happen?)

In fairness, the Dalai Lama was probably a bit distracted while being spirited out of China in the middle of the night so as not to be executed on sight by communist soldiers. So he probably didn't notice that the theory/practice distinction collapses in Marxism because the basis for the distinction is completely illusory. History leaves no doubt — Mao's China, Lenin's Russia, Castro's Cuba — that judicial independence, media freedom, and human rights — and let's not forget religion — are always the first casualties when Marxists assume power. Admittedly, it can be fun, in that college-freshman-seminar way, to brainstorm ways to achieve equal wealth distribution without force. Believing in that as a real-world possibility turns mere illusion into lethal delusion. Marxist morality? Former Marxist David Horowitz nails it: "Socialism is a plan of morally sanctioned theft."

So much for being "Marxist in spirit" and then muttering a bunch of caveats while bunking at a Four Star Hotel in Manhattan. What about the Dalai Lama's dismissal of capitalism? The best rejoinder is his straight forward acknowledgment:

He credited China's embrace of market economics for breaking communism's grip over the world's most populous country and forcing the ruling Communist Party to "represent all sorts of classes." ... Capitalism "brought a lot of positive to China. Millions of people's living standards improved," he said.

Surprise! Capitalism turns out to be rather than less creepy than first stated. In fact, capitalism turns out to have some decided advantages for an exiled government leader who spends most of his free time in the USA. Say you'd like to get your picture taken standing next to the Tibetan leader, both of you giggling at the surrealism of it all. That'll run you at least two grand. In free enterprise lingo, this is "Supply and Demand." (There's only one Dalai Lama at a time, and a large demand to be in his presence. Good reason to cut prices on Photo Ops?) Now I'm not suggesting the Dalai Lama is getting rich posing for pictures; he is, after all, a monk (vows of poverty and all). Photo proceeds go toward maintaining his government-in-exile's quest for Tibetan autonomy, a cause I fully support.

In the meantime: let's be honest enough to acknowledge that the Dalai Lama's most well-heeled supporters (short list: Richard Gere, Steven Segal, Goldie Hawn, Uma Thurmond, Sean Penn) haven't done all that badly by the free market. And that without the massive backing of  rich Westerners, the Dalai Lama would be just another itinerant guru clamoring for his 15 minutes of fame in the public square.

I like to think he'd still spend a lot of time giggling.